February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and since such dating violence is an issue that impacts everyone – not just teens – but their parents, teachers, friends and communities — Help Now of Osceola, the county’s local advocacy agency for those who experience such domestic violence, is working to bring awareness to it.
The agency is encouraging everyone to wear orange on Wednesday, Feb. 1 — a local “Wear Orange Day” to highlight the start of the awareness month.
According to the government website Youth.org, nationwide, youth ages 12-19 experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, and that nearly 1 in 10 adolescents report being the victim of physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner during the course of a year. Girls are particularly vulnerable to experiencing violence in their relationships, and are more likely to suffer long-term behavioral and health consequences, including suicide attempts, eating disorders, and drug use.
For these reasons, Help Now works to stay ahead of any potential violence, with a teacher model it takes into middle and high schools — its “Expect Respect” program.
It started as a statewide initiative in 2008, and over the years Help Now has created a 10-week curriculum in which students are able to learn how to properly express emotions and healthily handle conflict, understand and identify toxic traits and red flags in real time, and how to treat each other with respect.
“The concept of primary prevention is to stop it before it touches somebody’s life,” Help Now President/CEO Tammy Douglass said. “We designed the curriculum in sessions to target those ages. And, we have a great partner in the School District (of Osceola County).”
In this school year, the program is being presented at Harmony High, Liberty High, NeoCity Academy, Zenith, Imagine Kissimmee Charter Academy and Canoe Creek Charter. In those schools, the program is reaching almost 2,000 students according to Christina Montalvo, Help Now’s Primary Prevention Specialist.
She said the ultimate goal is to create young leaders to eventually teach the program.
“Our goal is to plant seeds so others can carry on the message. Often, students will open up when there’s another student leading the conversation; ‘You get it, you’re with me,’” she said. “One of the main goals is to just get them talking. “It can be an intimidating subject; many of the kids don’t even know exactly what it is.”
Montalvo said the curriculum can change based on what school she’s in, and what those children have already experienced.
“It’s dependent on the classroom and what those kids need the most,” she said. “Sometimes activities we plan, we don’t get to because the conversation keeps going — which is what we want. We want them to know that that time is a safe space.
“No one is born with violent tendencies, they learn it over time, mostly from peer influence. And now you have TikTok and Instagram all that new technology piling on to it. The decisions most children make are based off emotions. And if those children don’t know how to express their emotions, of course it will come out in crying and anger, just like when we were babies. I’d rather them come ask me a question they think is weird than going to TikTok for the answers.”
Douglass said the program works best when the conversations that arise from the program continue into creating healthy social ones outside of it.
“They’re going to experience more than they realize,” she said. “It’s about learning how to create a space where they know they deserve respect, and empowering them to feel worthy of it.”
Montalvo said one of her main focuses is raising confidence — because low confidence is a reason many people in toxic relationships stay in them.
“We don’t think we deserve or can find someone better,” she said. “We talk a lot about the red flags — what do we see that a person is causing a toxic relationship.”
Help Now wraps Expect Respect into schools’ health, psychology and some science classes. It also presents to volunteer groups, and to sports and church youth groups over the summer.
“Basically, anybody who wants to invite us,” Douglass said.
For information on bringing Expect Respect to your school or group, go to HelpNowShelter. org, or email Montalvo at ChristinaM@HelpNowShelter.org.
