This column’s message is for Megan (not her real name) who unfriended me when I disagreed with one of her political posts.
In the response I gave, I attempted to be logical and reasonable. I didn’t get nasty or accusatory. I simply stated the truth as I saw it.
I honestly realize my truth may not be the whole and entire truth. I understand each person on this earth is living his or her own truth. Still, I do believe my truth is just as worthy and valuable as any other person’s truth.
I expected a response to my post, which I got, but I also receive a laughing emoji from my Facebook “friend.”
I’ll be honest. This came across as disrespectful. You can disagree with another’s opinion, but laughing at said opinion? Probably not the best start for an honest and open discourse. It’s indicative of someone who not only knows all the answers, but would be willing to laugh in the face of those who don’t. I’m not sure I’d like a person who acts like that.
So I thought about unfriending my friend.
But then I realized how silly that would be. Discontinuing discourse with someone just because you disagree with them is only convenient. It is the easy way out, because it keeps differing opinions out of your periphery. It keeps you in the comfort zone of agreement. It keeps you from thinking. It keeps you from potential growth.
Here are the two scenarios as I see them:
No. 1: you unfriend people who don’t agree with you.
The benefits: You only receive opinions that agree with your own. Your life view becomes more focused and you aren’t aware of the world outside your own bubble. This feels comfortable and safe. The fallout: You only receive opinions that agree with your own. You aren’t aware of the world outside your own bubble. This feels comfortable and safe—at first. Until your bubble is popped the real world comes swooshing in, leaving you nowhere to flee, except toward the alternate truths you’ve tried to evade.
No 2: you allow people with differing opinions into your bubble.
The fallout: Differing opinions can be uncomfortable, dishonest, challenging and even hurtful. They can make you think, and often thinking original thoughts can be the most challenging task of all. The benefits: You might be forced to think about things in ways you hadn’t before. You might open your eyes and your mind to new alternatives. The truth as you’ve come to believe it may not be so black and white anymore. You might even realize you’ve been living lies as though they were the truth. You may realize you’ve been duped.
I think it’s obvious where I stand on the matter. I’m open to differing opinions. I think we are all allowed them (still) in this great nation we call home.
But to my friend (or maybe ex-friend) Megan? I say that I am sorry you aren’t open to discourse. I am sorry would choose a chasm versus trying to build a bridge. I am sorry you believe you have all the answers and because mine don’t align with yours they are wrong (or laughable), and I am no longer friend-worthy. I am sorry you have decided it’s more prudent to be judgmental versus fundamental. Because losing friends, well, that happens pretty much every day.
But losing our humility and humanity toward one another? That’s monumental, and dare I say, a road less taken for a reason.
Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.
