Submitted By Help Now of Osceola
Inhale, exhale. Count to four and breathe in, then count to four and breathe out. Repeat. Are you feeling overwhelmed, happy, sad, or angry? Or still can’t put your finger on it? It can be extremely difficult for us, as adults, to express our emotions.
They can be as intense as a chain lift up the tallest rollercoaster, or as subtle as a swift breeze at the beach. So, how can we expect teens to be able to express them as well?
It all begins with a safe space.
Identifying that there is an emotion present is the first step.
Whether that is anxiety, excitement, or the feeling of being calm, there is an emotion to describe how you are feeling in that moment.
Start with anger — the first emotion we use to describe when we are upset. But we need to ask ourselves, “What kind of anger is this? Am I annoyed? Am I bitter? Or am I just fed up?” Was it because your favorite Starbucks drink was sold out or was it because someone stole your wallet so you could not get Starbucks? Both are valid reasons to be upset, it’s all about how we express it. There are multiple emotions that can sum up one general emotion. The more we can identify, the easier it will be to figure out how we can overcome it. For happy, there could be a feeling of excitement, pride, or satisfaction. Whether a positive or negative emotion, each one needs to be treated the same. Take a step back, identify the triggers of how your feelings developed, regroup, express, and continue with life.
So if we are angry about our Starbucks drink being sold out, we’ve identified that it’s more annoyance and irritation than anything. The trigger is because our coffee machine at home is not working, so we were relying on Starbucks to save the day. Now what? We have to find a way to release this emotion instead of bottling it up. Maybe that means to grab a cup of coffee at a new coffee shop and take a walk to decompress. Emotions will eventually come out whether we want them to or not and with that, we want to make sure we are expressing in a healthy way versus unhealthy.
Communication is key for emotions. How are we supposed to express if we cannot communicate? Creating a safe and judge free zone is an important step in the right direction. A lot of the time, we just need to vent. Let all negative emotions roll off our shoulders so they don’t feel as heavy.
The next step is to figure out what is needed in that moment. One proven way to figure that out is to ask if they need comfort or advice. Those two options can help identify where the conversation needs to go. Then we have validation; our feelings are valid. Yes, sometimes we can be over dramatic or think of the worst-case scenario, but those are still emotions that we are noticing that need some love and care. Next, figure out how to move forward to work through the emotions. Self-care activities are important as these activities will help ground us, keep us in the present, and help release anything that’s built up. Whether it’s painting, journaling, exercising, or napping, self-care is essential. It gives us time to understand our thoughts, therefore creating a safe space in our own mind of understanding our triggers so we can help others understand our emotions. Think of emotions and communication as a cycle that keeps going. You feel an emotion, identify it, communicate it, and repeat. You cannot have one without having the other. If you are feeling the need to speak to someone, the national mental health hotline for text is 988 or to call is 866-903-3787. If you are experiencing teen dating violence or domestic violence, please contact Help Now of Osceola at 407-847-3286 or visit our website at www. helpnowshelter.org.
