The holidays are thought to be a time of joy when family and friends gather to celebrate, count their blessings, and reminisce on days gone by. Excitement is in the air as people crowd into stores to purchase ingredients for their contribution to the Thanksgiving meal, or pick up a gift as they begin their Christmas shopping.
Several years ago, I stopped celebrating the holidays. I found myself fixated on grieving the loss of my loved ones. I was angry, and didn’t feel that it was fair that they weren’t here with me for the holidays. I later learned that I was suffering from depression, more specifically holiday depression.
As these holidays approach, I find myself excited and in a better place. I look forward to spending time with family, putting out my Kwanza decorations, caroling in the neighborhood, volunteering in the community, and helping others who may be down on their luck during this time of year.
Depression can occur at any time, but during November and December, stress and anxiety is reported to increase significantly for some. Depression does not discriminate, affecting the young and old, and the rich and poor. It is extremely important to remember that the holiday for some people is not a joyous occasion.
According to Mental Health of America statistics, over 50 million American adults and 2.5 million youth suffer with depression. Reports show Florida ranked 46th for prevalence of mental health issues and limited accessibility of treatment. There are 27 million adults and youth who do not receive any treatment.
Michelle Noel-Bolden, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) offered insightful information on how to remain mentally fit and effectively navigate during the holiday season.
Make time for yourself. Because the holidays can increase stress as well as financial pressure, it is extremely important to practice self-care, rest, and recharge. Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of rest, and do not overextend yourself.
Be mindful of feelings. Identify, and accept your limitations, and be patient with others. Holidays can trigger family conflict or trauma, so it is important to know when you’re becoming aggravated and impatient. It is acceptable to remove yourself from the situation.
Prioritize things that are most important. Holidays often bring a never-ending list of activities and things to do, countless invitations to events, volunteer opportunities, and family celebrations, but remember to prioritize to prevent becoming overwhelmed. Make a schedule, and give yourself permission to say no.
Give yourself permission to opt out. Sometimes we are just not in the holiday spirit or mood. The thought of engaging in traditional activities may seem dreadful. If you find yourself getting anxious and feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to opt out. Give yourself permission to lay in bed, watch movies, or make a non-traditional meal.
Know the signs of stress can manifesting in your body. Increased stress can lead to physical illness, an increase in irritability, trouble concentrating, fatigue, and exhaustion. Implement some of the suggestions made by the therapist.
There is no pressure to always do what you’ve always done. Making healthier choices and being patient with each other is key to enjoying the holidays. Be kind to yourself and each other. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dr. Starnes is the CEO of Starnes Education and Consulting Firm and Realtor with eXp Realty. She holds a Doctor in Business and serves as an adjunct professor at Valencia College. She is an enthusiastic advocate for people and a change agent for community stakeholders and partners.
