May is National Foster Care Month, a time for advocacy groups to extoll the virtues of helping children and the system their in as a foster family.
Locally, there is a need, and if you have a heart to serve children who haven’t been served by their birth parents, Esma Dennis wants to hear from you.
Dennis is a foster family recruiter with Embrace Families, helping identify and equipping parents in Osceola, Orange and Seminole counties to serve the children in need within the foster system; there are currently 402,000 of them in the state, give or take a few whenever the newest stats come out.
It is fulfilling, but quite the undertaking, Dennis said, because some children come with emotional trauma and baggage from their upbringing – or they want to return to a prior family, where they felt safe.
“They’ve been traumatized in the past and haven’t shared yet why they may be acting out,” she said. “We teach traumainformed courses. Because I took the training, now I understand.”
Indeed, those who want to foster will not be going it alone.
“People who foster have the heart to do it, and the mindset to want to help. Then there’s the people who want to help, but tell us they’re a little afraid,” Dennis said. “We remind them the (orientation) classes they’ll be taking will get them past that, and the relationship with their case manager will definitely help. Nobody goes into this alone, we have a system of support. There’s a foster parent association. They do outings and connect families with one another. And churches offer wraparound services, like a night out for foster parents. But it’s good that they ask those questions.”
A popular misconception is that fostering and adoption are one in the same, as some may think. In Florida the process is, Dennis said, more like a pause for the birth parents to get their lives in order.
“We get those calls all of the time. Up north, you can foster to adopt, and it’s common in places like New York. We have to slow those people down; in Florida, you foster with the mindset the children will be re-unified with their families, not to keep that child. You are temporarily helping us make sure the child is in a safe place until their family can hopefully get them back.
“You foster with the mindset that the child will eventually move on. There are situations, where parents can’t get off of drugs or hold a job, or don’t have stability in their homes. A judge makes a plan for that child, which includes intervening with the parents. If the birth parent doesn’t go through with it, their rights are terminated.”
Dennis also participates in the system she helps recruit for. Her and her husband, parents of 14-year-old twins who are trained to help, are emergency foster parents for when a child needs a place for a night or two until arrangements can be made. She said she got involved in fostering since they initially struggled to have children of their own.
The greatest current need is for foster care for children at the older end of the scale, ages 12-17.
“They’ve formed a lot of triggers. You get those teens who want to go back to a home they were in before,” Dennis said. “Or they want to stay in the system and age out, maybe because of trauma experienced with their birth family. Every child deals with trauma differently.
So, what character traits are most found in a foster family? A willing an compassionate heart, Dennis said.
“It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding. Opportunities present themselves. Family members who never thought the knock would come at the door get to be an ‘auntie’ for the night.”
For the answer to any questions about the foster parenting process, or to begin that process, reach out to Embrace Families’ Osceola County office at 321-442-8487.
“People who foster have the heart to do it, and the mindset to want to help.”
—Esma Dennis Foster family recruiter with Embrace Families
