Sports Editor

Sadly, Miami doesn't have much else in sports

Random thoughts from the comfy, tan recliner, which is sadly more than an arms length away from the ladle and the egg nog bowl …

Who’s ready for Christmas?

This columnist!

This is the reason I avoid most things red and green (thank goodness no football team has that color scheme). Dodge the bombardment right after Thanksgiving and enjoy the last 10 days before hand, the true Christmas holiday. Even the cool weather cooperated earlier this week and the grey and damp weather yesterday.

Our lights are finally up, Santa needs to make one trip to a local outdoors outfitter, and after that it’ll be, “Bring on the egg nog and holiday cookies, because Kenny is ready to go into his Christmas coma!”

And talk about good timing. Another reason to proclaim being ready for the end-of-year holiday dash through Christmas into a new year: High school sports Player of the Year stories will start running today and go into the next two weeks while our sporty kids are out of school. I’ve been out interviewing those talented kids and their coaches and putting together the All-County Teams, dreading that I leave off a worthy athlete or two …

...Speaking of All-County players, got to play a few holes in a golf match against All-County golfer Morgan Beaulieu and her dad. I teamed up with her coach, Bob Muzeka, and we got creamed. I say it all the time: those who can, do; those who can’t, write about it ...

… Anybody notice the price of gas went up like 15 cents on Tuesday? And you also notice it only drops a penny or two pennies but it goes up a dime or a quarter?

It’s like it would be a miracle for gas to get back under $2 a gallon. If Floridians can’t get that miracle, than I guess South Floridians will take whatever they’re calling that last second play the Miami Dolphins pulled off to beat the rival New England Patriots.

If the Dolphins somehow run the table, get to 10-6 and make the AFC playoffs, and maybe even make a little noise after that, then that hook-and-lateral-and-“see ya Gronkowski!” play will live in Miami infamy, right behind beating the 1985 Bears on Monday Night Football and, um, anything LeBron James did as a member of the Heat.

Miami’s a lousy sports town. That’s why this one play in Week 14 of the regular season might be the greatest one in the town’s sports history. They needed a miracle, like other places get.

You may have to Google or ask Siri about a couple of these, but here’s a this week’s meaningless lists, the Mighty News-Gazette Divine Nine Sports Related Miracles:

1. The Miracle on Ice (the classics never die). 2. The Music City Miracle. 3. The Miracle in Miami. 4. The Immaculate Reception (the crazy one in Pittsburgh). 5. The Immaculate Conception (the one we’ll be celebrating in a couple weeks by exchanging electronics). 6. Miracle on 34th Street (a little boy in the movie wanted a football for Christmas). 7. Miracle Whip (football fans make sandwiches). 8. The Durham Bulls’ 8-16 record (“It’s a miracle!”). 9. That the once gawdawful Tampa Bay Bucs have won a Super Bowl.

Now on to the Picks of the Weak, which now incorporates the first games of Bowl Week, because you can never overlook the New Mexico Bowl Presented by Progressive!

AutoNation Cure Bowl — Louisiana vs. Tulane (-3.5): Bringing two Louisiana schools to Central Florida to play a game they could have played in New Orleans, all in the name of raising money for breast cancer research. At least some good come out of it. Green Wave (that’s Tulane, people) by 7.

The paid professionals, going down the stretch or playing out the string:

Miami at Minnesota (-7): Anything left for ya’ in that big of miracles, ‘Phins fans? Kinda looking like my egg nog mug right now, a feeling of emptiness. Vikings by 7.

Tampa Bay at Baltimore (-7.5): The definition of “opposite of a miracle”: how Jameis Winston has worked out in Tampa. Quoth the Ravens, win by more.

Washington at Jacksonville (-7): First thought is, “How are the Jaguars a touchdown favorite over anybody?” Then you realize the Redskins’ backup plan at quarterback is now Doug Williams … or Donald Trump. Jags counter with Cody Kessler. ‘Skins by 6 (points, and viewers).

Green Bay at Chicago (-6): Poor Aaron Rodgers is in need of a miracle. All he has is another one of those Discount Doublechecks. Bears by 3.

New England (-2) at Pittsburgh: Sports Editor Emeritus Rick Pedone: “I watched the Steelers’ season die last week.” What, no beliefs in miracles? Sadly, I have nothing for him, either, unless the refs feel like taking a touchdown pass away from Tom Brady this year for a change. Patriots by 4.

New Orleans (-6) at Carolina: Saints have clinched their division. Panthers can make the playoffs but they need to keep winning, starting Monday night. Cats by 3 in “This is No Miracle” Upset Specials.

Petey “The Gators Are Going To Win” Covino says: Atlanta at New Year’s sounds like fun.

Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer of the Week: Panthers 3 over New Orleans.