Barack-et just might redistribute

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Barack-et just might redistribute

Sports

Friday, 25 March 2011 13:17

Ken Jackson
Sports Writer

What’s the difference between Charlie Sheen and President Obama?

One thinks he’s winning in California while doing stuff to 7-gram rocks. The other, thanks to Arizona and Rock Chalk Jayhawk, is most definitely on top.
‘Ol Uncle Charlie Harper is awash in his own version of March Madness. Barack’s barack-et is a bully.
Obama’s sheet is in the 99th percentile of ESPN’s millions of NCAA Tournament Challenge pickers. Stands to reason that he’s bi-winning — winning there, and winning here.
On a lark the last three years, we’ve entered the Prez’s bracket sheet into our office pool to see how he rates. We joke that if he wins, everybody gets their entry fee back in a nod to his “Redistribution of Wealth” policies.
It’s not a joke anymore.
The Commander-In-Chief, after two years as a bracket pool non-factor, held a lead — a big one over a collection of stiffs that include our Rick Pedone and Pete Covino — going into Friday’s Sweet 16 games. And this is even after losing two Final Four teams (Pitt, Duke).
And what’s worse, he has a real original final of Kansas over Ohio State, meaning that nobody’s gonna catch him without a solid helping of chaos theory the rest of the way.
Helped that he nailed 29 of the 32 first-round games and pegged Arizona and BYU, two disrespected teams entering the tournament, winning their first two games. His bottom-left region (the Duke one)? Perfect until Duke blew it.
Let’s see Gadhafi or Bin Laden top THAT!...
... There’s two types of people who had Virginia Commonwealth in the Sweet 16: members of the VCU training staff, and liars ...
... In Thursday’s paper, Pedone said some nice things about Florida and Florida State making it to the second weekend of the NCAAs. Know what I think? Ta’ hell with them.
I had them winning a combined two games in the tourney and losing to teams who ended up bowing out in the first round. That’s one of the many reasons my bracket is now officially busto.
Another reason is that I had a No. 12 and 13 seed meeting in the round of 32 — just the wrong ones. Utah State and Belmont need to learn that if you’re gonna be bi-winning you gotta win here (conference tournaments) AND win there (the Big Dance) ...
... BYU traveled to New Orleans for their regional semifinal. Just by leaving the hotel, didn’t they commit a couple violations of the school’s much-maligned Mormon (second ‘m’ optional) honor code? ...
... The basketball tournament only lasts this weekend and next, although I wouldn’t mind if when it was over, they played it all over again. It has nothing to do with pleading for a do-over for the sake of my brackets.
After March Madness, there won’t be other sports noise to drown out the NFL labor talks. After next weekend, if you don’t want the play-by-play on how the players and the owners can’t agree how to split $9 billion in revenue, you better dive headfirst into baseball.
Besides, it’s all hot air anyway. Not a single regular-season game will be lost. Bet it, book it and take it to the bank. How am I so sure? The money — but I’m not talking about that $9 billion war chest.
Big companies pay big bucks to partner up with the NFL, anticipating a big rate of return. And the NFL likes doing big business so they can spend that big pile of sweaty money.
Companies who want this thing smoothed over yesterday include Canon, provider of the, “Official camera of the NFL.”
There’s also the official beer (Bud Light), the official pizza (Papa Johns), the official air freshener (Febreze), the official tire (Bridgestone), the official HDTV (Samsung), the official credit card (Visa) and the official shampoo (Head & Shoulders).
I’m officially over it.
Closer to home: the last two Houston Astros Spring Training games are today and Sunday against Washington and Detroit at 1:05 p.m. Make my friends Pete and Jeff at Osceola County Stadium happy and take in a game and buy a hot dog and Coke. Besides, the Tigers might win the AL Central ...
... Speaking of Tiger, if Woods wins this weekend at Bay Hill, will it be because he’s got Charlie blood?