Ken Jackson

Sports Writer

Your attention, please ... raise your hand if you are undefeated!

While those of us in the palatial editorial offices of The Picks of the Weak have nothing to report (we wish we had nothing to remember based on the last two week’s pitiful prognostications), others have aspired to greatness we can only marvel at.

Halfway through the college season, there’s 10 undefeated teams prepared to give the BCS formula an acute migraine.

They range from the usual (Oklahoma) to the interesting (Oregon) to the expected (LSU) to the overlooked (Boise State and TCU) to the surprising (Michigan State) to the “Who are these guys?” (Oklahoma State and Missouri).

The herd’s gonna thin this weekend with two games that pit undefeateds against each other — and you thought there’d be nothing to watch with Florida and Florida State sitting it out.

So we could still end up with five perfect teams at the end of the year, leaving some to make cases for the BCS title game and the BCS making excuses why the pair some computers spit out are, “The best two teams of the season.”

Whatever. Tell me Boise State doesn’t have the best quarterback in the country (Even Petey “The Gators Are Never Going To Win Again” Covino knows of Kellon Moore), and that they haven’t beaten the better teams on their schedule, and totally destroyed the rest.

If I had a poll, the Broncos would top it ... wait a second ... and now for this week’s Mighty News-Gazette Top 13:

1. Boise Freakin’ State, baby. 2. Oklahoma. 3. Oregon. 4. Auburn. 5. TCU. 6. LSU. 7. Michigan State U. 8. Utah. 9. Oklahoma State. 10. Missouri — and I’m out of unbeaten teams. 11. Bye weeks (luckily the Gators can’t get closer to imperfection this week). 12. The New York Jets (closest thing the NFL has to an undefeated team). 13. The ‘72 Dolphins, who made undefeated upper-class.

And, where there’s unbeaten, there’s usually uncouth nearby. Speaking of, here’s the picks ...

Rice at UCF (-21): Only perfect thing about this is the Knights finally get to play on Saturday again. And it’s fun to say we’re going to boil Rice. Knights by 19.

Oklahoma (-3) at Missouri: One of the meetings of the unbeaten, although Mizzou is there by perfect chance; their biggest win is over Colorado. Oklahoma is ... very good. Sooners by 7.

Nebraska (-5.5) at Oklahoma State: Okie State is the same as Missouri. And the Huskers were so mad after losing to Texas that I hear they ripped up a corn field. Big Red by 3.

LSU at Auburn (-6): The other game matching unbeatens, the ubiquitous SEC Game of the Century of the Week. War Eagle by 3.

The paid professionals ...

Pittsburgh (-3) at Miami: It’d be a perfectly good day to sit and watch this ball game, but since you live north of Tampa you’ll get ...

Jacksonville at Kansas City. Chiefs were NFL’s last perfect team, at 3-0, and they stink. If it were possible, could they both lose? Jags by 7, and Steelers by 4.

St. Louis at Tampa Bay (-2.5): Here’s a case of the blackout working in our favor. Sounds perfect. Bucs by 3.

Minnesota at Green Bay (-3): Will take all day, but here’s finally something interesting to watch. Oh, the game will probably be a lame duck, but we’ll have some story lines with Brett back at Lambeau. Pack by 8.

N.Y. Giants at Dallas (-3): Cowboys favored means that bookies realize that Dallas can’t possibly play any worse, and that imperfection can’t continue much longer. I won’t argue. Lone Star by 1.

Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer Upset Special: Fins by 3.

Rick Pedone says: Chefs by 3, Vikes by 2, and will I ever break .500 again?

Last week: Phrustrated Philly (6-5, 38-27) staggered past Defeated Denizen (4-7, 33-32).