Rick Pedone
Sports Editor

Welcome to the smashing debut of the Osceola News-Gazette Picks of the Weak for 2010.

There seems to be a societal obligation for sports writers to pick football games, so here we are.

How did we arrive at our NFL and BCS picks? I flipped paper squares, and Young Jackson channeled Jimmy “The Greek.” We’re cautiously optimistic.

Rick “Provectus” (Latin. Means old.) Pedone’s BCS championship game: Alabama 34, Ohio State 23.

NFC division winners: Dallas, New Orleans, Green Bay, San Francisco. Wild cards: Minnesota, Atlanta.

AFC division winners: New England, Baltimore, Indianapolis, San Diego. Wild cards: Pittsburgh, Miami. (Remember, this is paper squares talking).

Super Bowl: San Diego 28, Dallas 24.

Ken “Young Jackson The Elder” says: OK, me and the Old Guy must summon the same paper squares or Greeks, because our NFL division champs are the same. My wild cards are Minnesota and Arizona, the Jets and Tennessee. My BCS game is Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 16, because I’m too much of a weenie to include Boise State.

Other offerings from the office staff:

Editor Marvin “Marvin” Cortner – BCS: Missouri 39, Indiana 36. Super Bowl: St. Louis 26, Oakland 17. (Thank goodness he doesn’t gamble.)

Assistant editor Rick “Frisky Like My Colts” Madewell – BCS:  Ohio State 38, Texas 20. Super Bowl: Indy (surprise, surprise!) 35, Dallas 21.

Brian “Big Man” McBride – BCS: Alabama 51, Boise State 24. Super Bowl: Dallas 24, Baltimore 14.

Petey “The Gators Are Going to Win” Covino – BCS: Florida 38 (another stunner), Boise State 21. Super Bowl: J-E-T-S 28, Minnesota 26.

Andrew “Flaming Spear” Sullivan – BCS: Alabama 42, Arizona 14. Super Bowl: New Orleans 23, Patriots 20.

Fallan “The Newbie” Patterson – Super Bowl: Colts 24, Redskins 17.  Her BCS pick? Miami. That’s it. We don’t push mothers of 2-year-olds.

Making football predictions is hazardous work, but it doesn’t compare to the nightmare that is mushroom hunting in Italy. Have you heard? Over the past two weeks, 18 – 18! – fungi hunters died tracking down portabellas. Apparently they do this at night, near cliffs.

Or, maybe they tripped over Steelers safety Troy Polamalu’s famous Samoan Afro, which now is insured by Head & Shoulders for $1 million. Hope that includes liability coverage.

We assume no liability for the inaugural Mighty News-Gazette Top 13:

No. 1: Roll Tide. No. 2: The Super Saints. No. 3: Wild mushrooms. No. 4: Troy’s “Do.” No. 5: Mushroom shampoo. No. 6: The Colts. No. 7: Jimmy Johnson’s hair. No. 8: The Buckeyes. No. 9: Howie Mandel’s hair. No. 10: The Pack. No. 11: Yoda’s hair. No. 12: Mushroom wine. No. 13: Y.A Tittle’s hair (Only the moderately provectus will get this one.).

Time for business.

South Dakota at UCF (no line): Mr. Cortner wanted South Dakota in his BCS championship game. He’s had a really bad toothache. Knights by 19.

UConn at Michigan (-3): The Big House has seen a few early-season horrors. Huskies by 4 in Upset Special.

Boise State (-2) at Virginia Tech: Broncos win, and BCS title game is possible. Lose, and they’re down there with the mushroom hunters. Broncs by 6.

North Carolina vs. LSU (-3): The Tar Heels wish those darned NCAA investigators would just hunt for mushrooms, instead. Tigers by 4.

Oregon State vs. TCU (-13): This is one of those early-season intersectional matchups that makes us wonder, “Just how do you make those mushroom brownies?” Horned Frogs by 17.

Jackson says: Virginia Tech by 3 in “So Much For That” Upset Special.

Last season: We never did figure out who won the coveted “News-Gazette Picker of the Year” award, so we donated it to the Vin Diesel Hair Club.