Today you’ll need your vuvuzela

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Today you’ll need your vuvuzela

Sports

Friday, 25 June 2010 11:53

Ken Jackson
Sports Writer

Got vuvuzela?
If not, grab one. Because this party is still going strong. Just ask Jenny.
Actually, according to her, our server at Buffalo Wild Wings who normally works the night shift but was there with two dozen of us when the U.S. scored probably its biggest goal in national team history Wednesday morning, don’t.

The sports bar up on Osceola Parkway has been opening early the last two weeks to accommodate crowds watching World Cup games. They even bought two new 65-inch TVs and show what games they can in 3-D.
According to Jenny and some of the other staff, it’s been a nice bump in the pre-lunch crowd, which normally in-volves, “Coming in, opening and spending an hour just doing sidework,” she said. “Most of the day shift is out (Wednesday) so our shift had to come in. I don’t know where they are. Probably off watching World Cup. I’m not all that for getting up early.”
So, at least from a cash register standpoint, they are happy to see workday soccer. They must be the only ones, right? Because, “Americans don’t care about soccer. We don’t know Tim Howard and Landon Donovan from Ron Howard and McNabb the Donovan.” Isn’t that what they say?
Then explain why were both Twitter and Facebook overloaded into oblivion for about 20 minutes after Donovan forced me to continue try to explain soccer’s offsides rule with his heroic, better-late-than-after-I-finish-my-wings goal.
I know that Americans want a front-runner, and national pride gives soccer a kick during World Cup. (Think of the Olympics.)
But we were supposed to beat Algeria — and we weren’t! Oh the horror and the humanity! And it only got worse with every clank off the post and shot at a wide-open net that went over it, around it and I wouldn’t be surprised if we found a way to go under it.
And this was against Algeria, not to be confused with Al-Jazeera or Al-Qaida. I know we’re no Brazil, but that place is known for being large, sandy and hot, not for its national soccer team.
And, to think that all this do-or-die-ness was only necessary because that ref from Mali hiccuped into his whistle late in last week’s match against Slovenia and ... uh-oh, here I go, getting all wound up about it a week later.
I’ve played my share of club soccer. I’ve been in the scrums that happen like a week ago Friday, in the last minutes of a tie game with a free kick or corner kick coming right in front of the goal.
In those mosh pits, there’s kicking, pulling, grabbing, gouging, clutching and holding. And, at that decisive point of the match, there’s never a whistle.
Fine, ref, blow your whistle. But then tell us what we did. This guy didn’t. Imagine if your favorite football team was down by four points, scored a touchdown on the final play of the game, then Ed Hochuli threw his penalty flag, disallowed the score then ran to the locker room without saying a word.
Really though, were we going to let Algeria and Slovenia stand in our way of doing something great?
I’m sorry, but we’re the United Bleeping States of Gosh-Darn America, the New York Yankees/ New England Patriots/Tiger Woods (pre-adulterer edition)/Jimmie Johnson of the Earth. It’s a little Evil Empire-ish for some people, but if someone a half a world away stubs their toe, the U.S. is on the scene with a MASH unit, 2,000 troops and $40 million in aid. Get over it.
There’s us, then there’s Slovenia, which only exists because Yugoslavia fell apart. It has two million people — or roughly a co-op apartment complex in Brooklyn.
It’s silly, it’s preposterous ... and it’s over with. We’re in the playoff round now. Put your war paint back on and blow your vuvuzela, because at 2:30 p.m. today, here comes Ghana!
And there should be a captive audience today. Hey fans of France, Italy, Greece and maybe Spain, what else are you going to do today?