Weekend that was was wacky

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Weekend that was was wacky

Sports

Wednesday, 23 June 2010 12:25

Rick Pedone
Sports Editor

The best way to describe the happenings in the sports world last weekend is this: It was one long, cloudy, miserable Monday morning.
An almost unparalleled assemblage of ineptitude enveloped the globe starting Friday with the mystery foul that nullified a U.S. goal against Slovenia at the World Cup.
A few billion soccer fans still are trying to identify the infraction, which FIFA, the international soccer federation that stages the World Cup every four years, politely refused to discuss, although it held a press conference on the matter Monday.

As far as FIFA is concerned, the infraction was one of those surreal events like Lady Gaga’s appearance at Yankee Stadium Saturday. It defied explanation, but there it was, nonetheless.
Referee Kouman Coulibaly’s gaffe late in the match caused the U.S. to settle for a 2-all tie and jeopardized the team’s chance to advance at the World Cup.
Coulibaly’s performance was so bad, according to a FIFA officiating committee, that he could have done worse only if he had jumped on BP CEO Tony Hayward’s yacht after the match.
But, as we said, Coulibaly wasn’t alone in the sports follies last weekend. He just got things started in the wrong direction.
How about that U.S. Open final round at Pebble Beach Sunday?
Everybody – Tiger, Ernie, Phil, and even champion Graeme McDowell – backpedaled like they saw Elin Woods pulling up to the clubhouse with a 3-wood in one hand and a People magazine in the other.
Third-round leader Dustin Johnson held a three-shot lead that he lost within the first four holes Sunday, thanks to a triple-bogey and a double-bogey. He finished the round with an 82, the worst ever for a third-round leader. Maybe Coulibaly was his caddy.
McDowell, champion that he now is is, summed up the events Sunday by saying, “I need to get a beer in my hand.”
I think Coulibaly said the same thing Friday, except that was right before he refereed the U.S.-Slovenia match.
Meanwhile, a little south of Pebble Beach Sunday, NASCAR was holding one of its road race events at Infineon Raceway at Sonoma.
Watching the behemoth NASCAR vehicles rolling and lurching around a road course is somewhat painful in itself (though, not as painful as revisiting Dustin Johnson’s final round at the Open). But, there was some additional wincing in the stands when driver Marcos Ambrose, with the race virtually locked up with a few laps left, decided to conserve fuel. He did so by switching his engine off and on during a caution lap. It was a good strategy right up to the point where Ambrose switched the ignition on and his engine said, “What?” Unfortunately, he was going uphill at the time.
I’m not sure who his crew chief was – Tony Hayward? – but I can imagine the poor guy sitting on pit row going, “DOWNHILL, Marcos, turn the engine off going DOWNHILL!”
Ambrose coasted along for a moment or two, trying to get his engine to fire, before gravity kicked in and several cars passed. NASCAR officials then penalized Ambrose for not maintaining the proper pace (which apparently is somewhere north of zero miles per hour) and plopped him into seventh place, where he was far enough back so that Jimmie Johnson, who needs more NASCAR wins like BP needs to drill another well, took the checkered flag.
At least Ambrose was out there doing something, unlike the French World Cup soccer team, which decided there was far too much turmoil going on at its practice field in Knysna, South Africa, Sunday to bother getting off the bus to practice.
The team expelled one of its strikers, a coach quit and, to top it off, the merlot reportedly was flat.
“Everyone in the world is mocking us now,” French player Franck Ribery said.
Which is true, but that started long before the World Cup.