Ken Jackson

Sports Writer

It hurts. It stings. And it’s not a sunburn. (Just ask a football player in spring practice what that’s like.)

So, it must be the lofty, yet unfulfilled expectations of your Orlando Magic, made even loftier now that King LeBron James has abdicated the throne — and may be looking for one in a new castle.

Why, these Boston Celtics, who thanks to caretaker Rajon Rondo have broken out of the assisted-living old-folks home, have shocked the sane-thinking world by stealing two games here in Humidityville and taking a 2-0 Eastern Conference final lead back to Haughtytown. (The old part.)

Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett — they played in the same lineup with Paul Revere, right? In their rookie year, I hear the Gatorade jugs were full of tea.

But, before you put your Blue and White in the attic for the summer and dream about that new arena opening next season, Magic fans, heed a little of my advice.

You have nothing to worry about.

You’ve got those Green Guys right where you want them. You know how I know? Ready for this? – a hockey team told me. Better yet, they showed me.

Boston is paying all its attention to its hoops team because its beloved Bruins got ruined. They were up three games to zilch on Philadelphia in their playoff series with the Flyers, only to watch Philly tie the series and force an occurrence of clammy hands known as Game Seven. Boston took a 3-0 lead just eight minutes into that game.

They lost, 4-3, and the only sticks they’ve swung this week are golf clubs.

So, I guess what I’m saying is ... I’m just sayin’.

So Boston fans could be out for blood, which isn’t a good thing for the Magic, but the fans don’t make any shots. Now, if those old Celtic guys are Bruins fans, that could be bad.

No, bad is how the Magic played the first two games of the series — probably about as bad as they possibly could, with the exception of Dwight Howard in Tuesday’s Game 2, and he tried to take the game over because nobody else offered to.

Meanwhile, the Celtics have played about as well as they could. Really, if you think Garnett and Pierce can keep hitting those fall-away jumpers and three-pointers from Heritage Park with a hand in their face for another week or so, I have a tunnel in Boston to sell you.

With all that, what’s the difference been? Seven total points.

Two three-pointers and a free throw over two games isn’t a margin of victory — it’s a razor.

The Magic hit just 1.1 shot more each game and it’s 2-0 the other way. Which brings me back to the example of Boston’s hockey team, the one that led early and now leads itself to the 1st Tee.

Sure, the Magic have dug themselves into a hole, but if they can subscribe to The First Rule of Being In Holes (Stop digging!!!), they can prove what we already  know:

While all things aren’t exactly probable, Anything. Is. Possible.

I’m still picking the Magic to win the series. And, even bolder, if the series doesn’t come back to Old Amway Arena, the next round of Sam Adams is on me.

Why so bold? Because I figure I can’t get these NBA Playoffs any more wrong than I already have.

At the outset, I had Cleveland winning it all (and beating Orlando this round, to boot). Then I changed to Orlando, because — next bit of heresy — I had Phoenix beating the Lakers and Kobe’s old knees out west.

Such is my prophecy, which is a fancy word for, “I have no clue what’s going on.”

On the golf course, we call it “having the yips.” Here in the newsroom, my co-workers call it “Monday.”

Oh well, for me it’s still a living, and for the Magic, it’s still a pretty good existence. They’ve been in the conference finals four times in 21 seasons, a good ratio for any team that’s not the Lakers or Celtics, who have history.

Especially the Celtics. Want proof? Just cut Ray Allen open and count the rings.