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Saturday, 02 January 2010 01:43
Rick Pedone
Sports Editor
rpedone@osceolanewsgazette.comTo say that the football coaching fraternity ended 2009 on sour note is a kind understatement.
First, Gators Coach Urban Meyer said last week that he had to quit to save his health, only to follow that statement less than 48 hours later by saying something to the effect of, “Hey, I went to practice, I love the guys, the guys love me, I must preserve  the program, I’m not leaving. Except, for a little while.”
He sounds like the fine print on a cell phone contract.
While Meyer decides if or when he is the Gators coach, we move on to the exploits of Coach Mike Leach at Texas Tech, who is accused of placing one of his players in an equipment shed after he complained of concussion symptoms.
Leach was fired by university administrators before today’s Alamo Bowl, which he is construing as something bad. Frankly, he’s better off. Coaching at the Alamo Bowl can be life threatening. Ask Sam Bowie and Davy Crockett.
Let’s not forget Indianapolis Colts Coach Jim Caldwell, who, probably under orders from team President Bill “Let’s Pull the Plug” Polian, yanked Peyton Manning and many starters against the Jets last weekend, effectively costing the team an opportunity to complete an undefeated season.
Caldwell’s gesture was so warmly received that boos from irate fans cascaded through Lucas Oil Field, and a member of the Indianapolis City Council is considering suing the team for not pursuing perfection.
Members of the unbeaten 1972 Miami Dolphins, caught by surprise by Caldwell’s laydown, had no time to chill champagne for their annual toast. Larry Csonka reportedly had to dash out and grab a case of Colt .45 and a bag of ice.
Fortunately, it’s business as usual for the Mighty News-Gazette Top 13. We’re always in turmoil.
No. 1: The mostly, but not entirely, unbeaten Colts. No. 2: 2010 (So far, so good!). No. 3: The Chargers. No. 4: The Cowpokes. No. 5: Colt .45. No. 6: Colt .46. No. 7: The Tide. No. 8: The Texas Longhorns. No. 9: The Eagles. No. 10: The Big Man (He’s hit two Super Sniffer Upset Specials in a row!). No. 11: The ’72 Dolphins. No. 12: The ’73 Dolphins. No. 13: The 76 trombones.
Bowl games:
The Cotton Bowl: Mississippi (-3) vs. Oklahoma State: When in doubt, take the SEC. Rebs by 5.
The PappaJohns.com Bowl: South Carolina (-4) vs. UConn: The Ol’ Ball Coach, playing for a hand-tossed pepperoni with onions. Sigh. USC by 3.
The International Bowl: USF (-7) vs. Northern Illinois: Okay, tell me, UCF fans, that you aren’t grinning at the thought of the Bulls being stuck in Toronto for this catastrophe masquerading as a postseason reward. Rewarded Bulls by 2.
Fiesta Bowl: TCU (-7) vs. Boise State: Never doubt the power of an amphibian, so Horned Frogs by 2.
BCS Championship: Alabama (-4) vs. Texas: If they wait any longer to play this game, it’s going to bump into March Madness. Tide by 6.
The paid professionals:
Atlanta (-1) at Tampa Bay: The Bucs have won two in a row. Caldwell would yank the starters. Our Bucs by 3.
Jacksonville at Cleveland (-2): Is there a more wretched way to finish a season, on the road, in freezing weather, in Cleveland? Did Mike Leach schedule this game for the Jags? Browns by 2.
Pittsburgh at Miami (off): The Steelers better enjoy Miami. They aren’t returning for the Super Bowl. Stillers by 2.
Philadelphia at Dallas (-3): The winner receives a first-round playoff bye, the loser goes on the road as a wild card. Not much at stake here. Pokes by 3.
Young Jackson says: UConn by 3, Falcons by 4, Fins by 4, Jags by 10, and why is the ceiling still spinning?
Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer Upset Special: Green Bay over Arizona by 3.
Last week: Reveling Eagle (4-4, 95-51) popped the cork on Unraveling Senior (3-5, 96-50)
 

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