Donna Sines Community Vision

Black Friday was a mixed bag and somewhat controversial this year because it started a day early; Thanksgiving.  
There are just a couple of days when businesses close and employees can enjoy traditional activities with family. It used to be rare to see any stores open at Easter, New Year’s and of course Christmas. When I was a kid, I remember big barbecues on Fourth of July when everyone was off work. Little by little, the holidays that most businesses closed for have dwindled down to just Christmas and Thanksgiving. I watched a mall interview with a retailer who predicted that stores would open, with bigger sales, even earlier next year. She said “There may not be a Thanksgiving in 2013.”
This year there was push back… businesses and employees seeking to enjoy a rare holiday meal and day off with loved ones came into conflict. Is there any value in these hectic times to sitting down a couple of times a year to break bread with immediate and extended family? Local educators have observed that fewer and fewer families eat dinner together even a few nights a week. In a service-based Osceola economy, mom and dad might be working multiple jobs or shifts that make it almost impossible to have regular family dinners. Growing up, that was a time to talk about how things were going at school, what was happening in the neighborhood, etc. The fact that too many kids throw a sandwich together and eat in front of the TV may not be without consequences.
In a series of focus groups with low-income individuals conducted by the Nutrition Education Network, participants said they believed that the primary benefit to eating together was strengthening the family by providing opportunities for communication and building relationships. Other studies report similar perceptions on the part of parents.
Not only do parents want to feel attached to their children, kids want this too. Oprah Winfrey conducted a “Family Dinner Experiment” in 1993. Five families accepted the challenge to eat dinner together every night for a month. They all kept journals to record their feelings about the experience. Initially, cooking and sharing meals was a chore. But, by the end of the month, the families were happy with planning to dine together most evenings if not every night. The greatest surprise to the parents was how much their children treasured the dependable time with their parents at the table.
Family meals appear to give children an edge in the classroom as well. Preschoolers had better language skills when the family ate together. Extended conversations provided young children with a chance to think, and that enhanced their linguistic development. In a study that followed 65 children older than 8, Harvard researchers looked at which activities most fostered healthy child development: play, story time, events with family members and other factors. Family dinners won out.
Well-adjusted adolescents and frequent family meals are also linked, according to psychologists Bowden and Zeisz. Less adjusted teens are more apt to be involved with drugs, be depressed, exhibit difficulty getting along with others and have trouble in school. Adjustment was correlated more to shared meals than to any other factor. Bowden said that mealtimes play an important role in helping teens cope well with the stresses of adolescence.
So back to Thanksgiving… if our local families have little time, during the year, to enjoy family meals together holiday gatherings, seemingly, would have an even greater importance in the healthy development of kids and vital parental attachments. As important as that is, most would agree Thanksgiving is more than sharing a meal; it is sharing recipes passed down from one generation to the next, articulating blessings, over eating, watching football, celebrating traditions and feeling secure, loved and valued.  
As a former Chamber of Commerce executive vice president, I am very pro-business and get why retailers want to give shoppers more opportunities to walk in their stores. Businesses have suffered considerably during this recession. And I get why people flood the stores. This may be the only time of year they can pick up that big TV for a much smaller price tag. However, in spite of the hype, and intense “early” Black Friday marketing, early reports show shoppers spent less than predicted. So was it worth it? There may be a price to paying from a societal standpoint. However, there is no kidding ourselves, the genie is out of the bottle and there is no putting him back in.  A few demonstrations by big box employees didn’t dissuade shoppers from crossing the picket lines in search of deals on highly coveted items. All this does begs the question… When today’s kids are adults will they remember the mega TV in their living room or rather passing the green bean casserole to grandma after joining hands in prayer on Thanksgiving day to share blessings and celebrate the importance of family?    
Donna Sines is the executive director of Community Vision.