NFL season finally ends for Florida

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NFL season finally ends for Florida

Sports

Friday, 30 December 2011 16:02

The NFL regular season comes to its end this weekend, and the huddled masses in Jacksonville, Tampa and Miami can only say: What took so long?

It doesn’t seem possible, but Florida’s NFL franchises screwed up worse this year than Netflix.

In the annals of pro football history, and to paraphrase Winston Churchill, “Never in the field of human conflict have so many winced at the actions of so few.”
Churchill, upon seeing the local team’s abysmal record of TV blackouts, also reportedly said, “We’ll ignore them on the beaches, we’ll ignore them in the malls.”
When an entire state throws together a combined NFL record of 13-32, it’s time for that Great Blackout Curtain in the sky to come tumbling down.
To add just a bit (OK, a lot) of salt to the wounds, ponder what might have happened for Jacksonville and Miami had Tim Tebow been drafted by the Jaguars two years ago, and had the Dolphins had the foresight to choose Drew Brees over Daunte Culpepper as a free agent in 2006.
Tebow, unfinished quarterback product that he is, would have packed whatever it is that they call the Gator Bowl, and Brees last Monday broke Dolphin legend Dan Marino’s single-season passing record.
As for the Bucs, their 35-year history of inconsistency continues. Just when you think that they are developing into a consistent winner (see the playoff bursts from 1979-82 and from 1997-2002), reality sets in and Raheem Morris morphs from hot young coaching genius (10-6 last year) into the standard “What the Heck is Happening Here?” quivering mass (except for Tony Dungy).
But, relax. It’s almost over now. The state’s NFL fans now have coaching searches and high draft picks to ponder, and isn’t that what it’s all about?
Meanwhile, on to the Mighty News-Gazette New Year’s Edition of the Divine Nine:
No. 1: Crystal balls. No. 2: 2012 (we can’t wait). No. 3: 1999 (let’s try the last millennium again). No. 4: Party horns. No. 5: Brees. No. 6: The Pack. No. 7: LSU-Bama. No. 8: Oregon’s uniforms. No. 9: Dick Clark.
It’s the bowl week that counts, a little:
Gator Bowl: Ohio State vs. Florida (-1.5): This one looks great on paper, might even be marginally entertaining. Gators by a Marginal 3.
Capital One Bowl: Nebraska (-1) vs. South Carolina: Two wildly inconsistent teams, but who’s more fun, Bo Pelini or the Ol’ Ball Coach? USC East by 3.
Rose Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Oregon (-6.5): There’s not a more beautiful setting in football, college or pros, than the Rose Bowl. Until the Ducks come and muck it up with those looney uniforms. Ugly Ducklings by 5.
Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State (-3.5) vs. Stanford: The Cardinal is going to be down on its Luck after Andy graduates. Sorry, had to do it. Cowboys by 10.
BCS championship: Alabama vs. LSU (-1): They say it’s hard to beat a good team three times in a season. But, twice works. Bayou Bengals by 4.
The paid professionals:
Tampa Bay at Atlanta (-14): The Bucs are looking at 10 straight losses. That was a hot streak in 1976 (0-14). Falcons by 40.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville (-4.5): Would Indy be dumb enough to win this game and endanger its No. 1 draft pick? Conversely, will anyone in J-ville ignore their hangover and show up? Crazy Colts by 4.
N.Y. Jets at Miami (-1.5): The Jets have discovered what the Fins knew all along – their quarterback isn’t good enough. Fins by 4.
Baltimore (-3) at Cincinnati: Ravens need the win for a first-round bye; Bungles need it for the playoffs. Who has the better track record here? Black Birds by 4.
Kansas City at Denver (-3): Can you script one any better than this? Kyle Orton comes back to haunt the Broncos. Chefs by 4.
Dallas at N.Y. Giants (-3): These teams are psycho enough to have their own reality series. G-men by 3.
Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer Upset Special: Cowpokes by 3.
Petey ‘The Gators Are Going to Win Covino” says: Gators by 6.
Ken “Young” Jackson, blogging frantically at phoulballs.com, says: So, if the Tide wins this one, when is the tiebreaker to decide the true champion? Sabinator by 3. Also, Jags by 3 because they haven’t exactly quit (like the Bucs); Jets by 4 to keep the hope alive; Tebows by 8 (Really, I’m supposed to pick against the Broncos these days with Our Father watching from the close clouds?) and Daltons by 3 because Bengals need it more.
Last week: Old Man Winter (6-1, 106-55) blitzed Blogging Bungler (5-2, 111-50).