Saturday snoozer upon us

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Saturday snoozer upon us

Sports

Friday, 09 December 2011 12:57

The quietest Saturday of the football season is upon us.
First, the 112th Army-Navy scrum, then, tonight, the Heisman Trophy presentation ceremony. That’s it.
At least watch the the Cadets and Midshipmen march into FedEx Field today. It’s one of the great spectacles in sports. The game itself is optional. Even though Army-Navy is an institution, Army needs to win once or twice a decade to keep it interesting. It’s become Harlem Globetrotters vs. Washington Generals lately.
The solemn Heisman presentation ceremony, an anachronism both in demeanor and substance, rivals 1950s test patterns for thrills.
If you must watch, and frankly, the Kissimmee Festival of Lights Parade tonight seems like a better option, then go with Alabama’s smashmouth running back, Trent Richardson. The Baylor quarterback, Robert Griffin III, is the hot commodity, and Stanford QB Andrew Luck is the only thing on the minds of Indianapolis Colts fans, but when in doubt, always go with the SEC backs. See Bama’s Mark Ingram, in 2009, and Auburn QB Cam Newton last year.
At least there is cause for merriment at UCF, where the Knights finally were awarded their long-awaited invitation to join the Big East Conference.
Yes, the Big East will remain the bottom-feeder of the BCS conferences, even with Boise State and San Diego State on board. But, for the Knights, it’s a huge step up. In fact, the conference’s overall mediocrity will give UCF a more realistic shot at the BCS championship game than SEC teams like Mississippi State and Vanderbilt ever will have.
But, really, Boise State and San Diego State in the Big East? Maybe they should change the conference name to the Big Coast to Coast.
For further enjoyment, here is the Mighty News-Gazette Divine Nine:
No. 1: The Pack. No. 2: The Saints. No. 3: The Niners. No. 4: Bayou Bengals. No. 5: Roll Tide. No. 6: The Timmy Ts. No. 7: The Big UCF. No. 8: Cam. No. 9: Harry Morgan (The legendary actor, deceased at 96, who played Col. Potter in the TV series M*A*S*H).
The picks:
Army vs. Navy (-7): Army last won this clash in 2001. That’s so long ago that the sports department’s venerable Hyundai Accent had all of its hubcaps. Middies by 9.
The paid professionals:
Tampa Bay (-1) at Jacksonville: This game simply is tragic. Can they both move to California? Jags by .005.
Philadelphia at Miami (-3): Isn’t it a shame that the Fins didn’t begin playing until November? Fins by 5.
Chicago at Denver (-3.5): After this, the Bears might be tempted to place that call to Mr. Favre. Broncs by 4.
New Orleans (-5.5) at Tennessee: Chris Johnson finally found his giddy-up gear for the Titans. But, Saints by 2.
Atlanta (-3) at Carolina: Falcons are supposed to be Super Bowl material, but another misstep here and a playoff berth is in jeopardy. Falcons by 4.
San Francisco (-4) at Arizona: Like disappointed Cowboys booster Big Man said, the Cardinals had their big upset for the year last week. Niners by 3.
Buffalo at San Diego (-4.5): Chargers lost six in a row before beating Jags, but you’re never out of it in the wacky AFC West. Bolts by 7.
N.Y. Giants at Dallas (-5.5): Jerry Jones’ box might be the most dangerous place this side of Afghanistan when Cowboys stumble. Cowpokes by 2.
Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer Upset Special: Titans over Saints by 3.
Ken “Young” Jackson, blogging at phoulbals.blogspot.com, says: Bucs by 3 (Good Lord, can they both lose?), Panthers by 3 in “Cam Rookie of the Year” Upset Special, Eagles by 3, Texans by 3.
Last week: Muddled Medulla (5-5, 89-51) rallied but still trails Blogging Bozo (4-6, 95-45).