Rick Pedone
Sports Editor

It’s Halloween weekend, so let me tell you about a football nightmare.

Try charting plays when St. Cloud and Liberty high schools play one another. They did last week, and I’m still trying to catch up.

Both teams run no-huddle offenses.

At some point in the second half, I was longing for the good old days when former St. Cloud coaches like John Wallauer and Tom Greer mostly pounded the ball up the middle.

Not only was there plenty of time to chart the plays, but the clock kept running.

Last week’s game logged in at a little over two and a half hours because of the non-stop passing and scoring. That may not seem like a long time until you are trudging up and down the sidelines trying to keep up, and in the process you’re getting stepped on by offensive tackles and dodging diving safeties. It’s like being at the Apple store when they release a new iPhone.

So the question you ask is, why don’t you get your geezer kiester up in the press box where it belongs?

What? And miss all the fun?

Speaking of Halloween and nightmares, what’s up with the college and NFL football schedules? It seems like 90 percent of the teams in the country are mediocre this year, leaving us with very few games to look forward to.

As an example, the big college games today are Michigan State at Nebraska, Clemson at Georgia Tech, Stanford at USC and Oklahoma at Kansas State. Florida-Georgia is huge for local Gators, but the game is an afterthought in the BCS standings.

Only Kansas State (No. 8) and Oklahoma (No. 9) is a match of top 10 teams, but how legit are the Wildcats? Oklahoma is a 13.5-point road favorite. Unbeaten No. 6 Stanford and USC probably would qualify if the 6-1 Trojans weren’t on probation.

Good thing Alabama and LSU is only a week away.

As for the NFL, five of 13 games have point spreads of nine points or better.

Tricks all around for these games.

Now, for your treat. Our own Steve “Candy Man” Kraus, production wizard, has compiled his annual list of the best Halloween treats for the Mighty News-Gazette Divine Nine:

No. 1: Fun size Milky Way/Snickers/3 Musketeers. No. 2: Hershey miniatures. No. 3: Reese’s pumpkins. No. 4: Skittles/M&Ms. No. 5: Tootsie Pops. No. 6: Now and Later/Air Heads. No. 7: Sour Patch Kids/Gummy Bears. No. 8: Mike and Ike. No. 9: Starbursts/Jolly Ranchers.

To the picks:

N.C. State at FSU (-19.5): The Wolfpack has handed the Noles some nasty tricks over the past decade, but not today. Noles by 28.

Florida vs. Georgia (off): This is easy. Will John Brantley be a player or a ghost? Gators by 2 Brantleys.

Clemson (-4.5) at Georgia Tech: All who had the Tigers in the BCS championship game, please stand. Who are you kidding? Sit down! Tigers by 7.

Michigan State at Nebraska (-5.5): One miracle finish a month is all the Spartans get. Huskers by 3.

Stanford (-8.5) at USC: Two of the nation’s best QBs in Cardinals’ Andy Luck and Trojans’ Matt Barkley. Cards by a Lucky pair.

The paid professionals:

Jacksonville at Houston (-10): OK, what’s with the Jags? How do you beat the Ravens and almost get the Steelers with a rookie QB? Spooky. But, Texans by 6.

Miami at N.Y. Giants (-10): Supernaturally bad is the only way to describe the winless Fins. Giants by 13.

New England (-1.5) at Pittsburgh: Tom Brady is the Steelers poltergeist. Pats by 9.

Dallas at Philadelphia (-3.5): Eagles have had two weeks to prepare for the Cowpokes. The question is, will we see Dr. Jekyll Tony Romo, or Mr. Hyde Tony Romo? Can’t decide, so Green Birds by 2.

San Diego (-4) at Kansas City: Chargers find no treats in the Midwest. Chiefs by 2.

Brian “Big Man” McBride’s Super Sniffer Upset Special. Dallas by 5.

Petey “The Gators Are Going To Win” Covino says: Gators by 2.

Ken “Young” Jackson says: If well-wishes paid the bills, I’d be a rich man, the Butterfinger is the most underrated candy ever, Dawgs by 3, Bolts by 2.

Last week: Phantom Phillie (6-2, 55-25) crunched Creaky Cranium (4-4, 51-29).